Getting Back into the Swing

In 2019, I spent the year focusing on healing and bettering myself. I also very much delved into my job and getting as good at that as possible so I could get a promotion and thus a raise. Thus moving my very heavy boulder a little further up the hill to my life goals. In order to do this, I had to step back from theatre.

It hurt. It was hard, and it really took a toll on me, but it was what I had to do. It helped me realize how much I do need theatre in my life to keep me grounded. I am extremely proud of myself and what I was able to accomplish and clear off my plate so that I could begin again on the path of self fulfillment.

Then in 2020, Coronavirus struck. Little did I know that I could be completely ready to jump back in to theatre with both feet, but the entire world was going to shut down.

Thanks to this glorious pause, I have had to really dissect my goals, wishes, and process where I am and where I want to be. I love my job, I really do, but I also feel so stuck. I don't feel like I'm able to be my entire self. Also, I'm still stuck living with my parents which is definitely not the goal for any sane 31-year old. What do I want out of my life? What is going to make me happy?

I've always thought about doing one of those 300-mile treks like in "Wild" but I know I do not have the constitution to pull that off. Plus I always find myself happiest around people - making others happy. That's what's always drawn me to theatre. Feeling the energy of the audience as I perform is the greatest feeling in the world. Stepping out on that stage, I just completely lose myself - as most performers with tell you. I can be petrified what everyone is going to think of me, of my performance up until the second I break the curtain's leg and then suddenly I have all the confidence in the world.

Even with whatever precautions that need to be taken in order for the arts industry to continue, I will gladly make that sacrifice in hopes that one day soon, I'll be able to grace a stage again.